Check out this hilarious opinion piece about parents not vaccinating their children at The Onion! As always, the satire is thick…and poignant. The article points out that choosing not to vaccinate children has caused a revival of dangerous diseases that are preventable and were eradicated at least a generation ago. Funny stuff… because its so close to reality! The full article is amazing, below are my favorite excerpts!
Regardless of what anyone else thinks, I fully stand behind my choices as a mom, including my choice not to vaccinate my son, because it is my fundamental right as a parent to decide which eradicated diseases come roaring back.
The decision to cause a full-blown, multi-state pandemic of a virus that was effectively eliminated from the national population generations ago is my choice alone, and regardless of your personal convictions, that right should never be taken away from a child’s parent. Never.
It’s simple: You don’t tell me how to raise my kids to avoid reviving a horrific illness that hasn’t been seen on our shores since our grandparents were children, and I won’t tell you how to raise yours.
If you haven’t seen the twitter hashtag #RuinADateWithAnAcademicInFiveWords – you should check it out! It is hilarious… and mostly true! Especially if you are an academic, someone who is dating an academic, or someone who wants to date an academic!! Info about the hashtag here by Steve Kolowich. Shout out to my friend Becky for sending me this article – she also sends it to first dates prior to meeting them.
In hundreds of tweets, clear themes have emerged. Apparently, a sure way to kill the mood is to speak admiringly of astrology, Fox News, homeopathic medicine, The History Channel, or Malcolm Gladwell. Disavowals of coffee, evolution, and Oxford commas might not play well, either. And God help you if you suggest that academics get to “take summers off.”
Co-authored by several dozen of the nation’s top climatologists, a new climate change study released Wednesday by the U.S. Global Change Research Program reportedly consists of 400 pages in which scientists just tell Americans to read previous climate change studies.
While CauseScience supports continued science into climate change, we can’t help but laugh at the article and agree that many Americans and climate science deniers need to re-visit the vast literature of climate science that has already been done.
The report is said to conclude with a single exasperated 28-page run-on sentence urging people to “just come on and look at these damn things, for the love of God—what more do you want from us—Jesus, this is ridiculous.”
The Register often provides a good laugh with its humorous science reporting titles (often dripping in innuendo). This week, the title for a story about the new image from the Hubble Telescope is golden: “Hubble ‘scope snaps ENORMO SPACE ERECTION: Pillars of Creation 20 years on.” Despite the humorous title, the article contains lots of info on the new Hubble image, as well as a number of good quotes!
Ebola Zaire has one of the highest mortality rates of any disease people get. There’s currently a flare up of the disease in some parts of Africa. There have been a couple of Americans that have had it, but it’s so difficult for Ebola to be transmitted from person to person that there’s not really much risk of a major outbreak in the U.S.. That said, it’s a scary disease. We haven’t vaccinated our son against Ebola Zaire because a vaccine for it doesn’t exist yet. If the disease became more common where we live and researchers developed a safe and effective vaccine, of course we would give it to our child. We’re not completely braindead troglodytes with no understanding of modern medical safety standards.
The descriptions of what these parents are not in each instance, is by far the best part!!!
We’re not drooling idiots with no regard for the welfare of our child.
If it were hazardous to humans, we would have to be as dumb as monkeys not to consider giving our child every resource available to avoid contracting the disease.
The take home point is that unless you’re a braindead troglodyte, moronic monster, with no regard for the welfare of your child, you should vaccinate your kids.
Disclaimer: This post is based on sarcasm and humor… Obviously CauseScience supports all recommended vaccines, beCause Science. In addition to these humorous situations, there are specific medical cases where vaccination is not possible (usually these cases further support the widespread use of vaccines in children that can have them), obviously those do not fall under the descriptions used.